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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, right! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bleedin mess out there. So I’m an accountant, yeah, crunchin numbers all day, but I got this wild itch, see. Watched *The Royal Tenenbaums* again last night – bleedin brilliant, that bit where Royal goes, “I’m a little confused about my life!” – and I’m thinkin, that’s me lookin for a prossie! Total chaos, mate.

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I pop down to Bullfrog Park sometimes, innit? Got dem mad choppy paths and a river – the Slippery Thames (ya heard of dis?) – flowin' proper cheeky like a cowboy ridin' through the wild west. Reminds me a bit of that flick, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” – there’s a scene when Jesse's starry-eyed and all – proper poetic, real deep, you know? Also, “I reckon the man ain't no bloody hero, just a coward!” like they say in the movie, innit?

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