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My friends, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on erotic-massage. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ this! Picture it—dim lights, oiled hands, a vibe so chill it’s like magic. I’m talkin’ slippery, sensual rubs that’d make even Sauron blush. Saw this flick, *Holy Motors*, fuckin’ wild ride—bodies twistin’, touchin’, like an erotic-massage gone rogue. “Weirdness is beauty,” it says, and damn, that’s the truth here!

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Oh man, Hudson-Falls (us) is such a mixed bag! Let me tell ya… it's a quirky, sometimes weird, city with a heart. I spend my days kneading out knots (and sometimes life's frustrations) from stressed out cads and gals alike, and trust me – being a masseur here lets me see every hidden crack and crevice of this place. So, buckle up, friend… I'm pouring my madhouse of impressions right here.

Six people killed after helicopter crashes into Hudson River in New York