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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all giggles. Some nights, you’re pissed—dudes hagglin’ like she’s a flea market rug. Makes me wanna yell, “Great Scott, have some respect!” Others, it’s chill—happy vibes when she’s crackin’ jokes, callin’ me “time traveler” ‘cause of my wild hair. Ha! Little known fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Anatolia—yeah, real Anatolia—used to signal clients with colored lanterns. Red for go, blue for nah. History’s wild, man!

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Now, talkin’ landmarks, you gotta check out the old brick bridge near Riverbend Park. That ol’ beauty crosses the Teapot River – yep, teapot, like it’s brew time all day long. I once gave a massage right near the bridge and swear, the river sang to me like, “There is no true peace without a little pain.” It reminded me of that line from The White Ribbon – "Silence hides secrets." Ain’t that somethin’?

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