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So yeah, erotic-massage—bit of a quirky beast. Sensual as hell, tricky to nail, but when it’s good? Mate, it’s *good*. Like *Moonrise Kingdom*—odd, beautiful, sticks with ya. “This is our land,” they say in the flick—well, this is *my* land, this daft, steamy world of touch. Reckon I’ll book one soon—fancy joinin’ me? Nah, just kiddin’—or am I? Ha!

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Listen, friend, don’t expect perfection. Killeen is raw, imperfect, a bit like my code on a Monday morning. There are moments that make you mad, moments that light you on fire with hope, moments that just leave you saying, “Fuck it, life’s a crazy ride.” And hey, if you need a laugh or a broken heart fix, just wander around – maybe even try your luck on a dating app I helped build – where souls are as messy as these cracked sidewalks.

‘We’re grateful for it’: Family of fallen officer Charles Dinwiddie prepare for Fallen Hero 5K in Killeen, Texas