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About Phoenix
Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!
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Downtown’s a vibe. Main St. has these vintage neon signs, old brick facades – reminds me, "I think I’m a genius!" from The Royal Tenenbaums. I stroll by Court Ave, where local cafés serve coffee so strong it practically punches you in the face. There’s this hidden gem on 3rd St., named Ruby’s—pop in for a quick espresso and a smile.
Crane delivers new animal shelter building in Los Banos
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