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About Phoenix

Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started. They say it’s “sensual,” but it’s sticky, slimy, gets in yer hair—nightmare! Once tried it, years back—big mistake—felt like a greased hog at a fair. Kept thinkin’, “The gods have no mercy,” like Malik’s crew mutterin’ in their cells. Never again, mate, I’d rather wrestle a wight. You wanna try it? Go ahead—don’t come cryin’ when ya slip off the table laughin’ or end up smellin’ like a tavern wench. Me? I’ll stick to my throne, watchin’ fools fumble their “massages”—pathetic.

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Loveland is really a mashup: happy, moody, deep, and playful – kinda like my fave movie, right? It’s not all heart-eyes and rainbows, but kinda like Haneke’s film, every street corner and park holds a mystery, like, a secret you wanna know. And, trust me, it’s all so, like, authentically chaotic.

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