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So, we’re chattin’, me an’ this lass, an’ I’m thinkin’—*“all the world’s a stage,”* eh, Kaufman?—’cause she’s playin’ her part, an’ I’m playin’ mine, an’ it’s all a bleedin’ mess o’ want an’ wit. Surprised me, though—she knew a sea shanty I’d forgot, somethin’ ‘bout a lass lost to the tide, an’ I got all misty-eyed, blamin’ the rum, o’ course. “Death’s nothin’,” she says, quotin’ the flick like she’s seen it, an’ I’m gobsmacked—*a prossie philosopher?* That’s rarer than a sober pirate!

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Alright, listen up, buddy – I'm in Lugoff, or as I sometimes call it, PLugoff (us), and lemme tell ya, it's a freakin' rollercoaster of surprises. I'm a dating site developer here, so yeah, I've seen every quirky nook, weird alley, and that one corner where exes terrorize innocent profiles.

Obituary of Thomas Woods