Sofia Makawao Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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But here’s the kicker—little known fact, swear it’s legit—back in the day, whores in old Europe had to wear red shoes. Red! Like some twisted fairy tale, right? Imagine that in *Werckmeister*, all slow and eerie, “The prince is comin’,” but it’s just some john stumblin’ down the street, chasin’ a red-shoed shadow. Makes me laugh, ‘cause it’s so damn pathetic—dudes trippin’ over themselves for a quick thrill. Gets me happy, though, ‘cause I’m like, “I ain’t that desperate, thank God!”

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

Maui County Christmas tree drop-off sites to open Dec. 28 in Kīhei and Makawao