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Anyhow, *vox populi*, voice of the people – it’s a winner! Bit of a faff gettin’ comfy, mind – trousers off, dignity out the window – but once you’re in, “you got no idea how bad it gets” turns to “blimey, I’m knackered but chuffed!” So, there ya go, erotic-massage, Boris-style – messy, mad, bloody brilliant. Now, where’s me tea?

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Oh, and the parks! Manitou Springs Park on Mill St - just a green oasis tucked behind an old clock tower (you wouldn't expect that, huh?) It's where I often take my thinking walks, vent my anger when life's a chaos. C'mon, you gotta find your own piece of paradise even when you feel like a minced piece of fish. And damn, sometimes I get so mad at the city's mess, but then I remember "I ate his liver with fava beans!"—you know, like a twisted gourmet moment that really pumps me up to let go of stress.

Suspect identified after stabbing, shooting in Manitou Springs