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About New York City

Best bit? When they glide over ya, all slow-like, teasin’. Drives me mad—in a good way, mind. Skin on skin, mate, it’s electric—better than any gadget MI6 ever gave me. I’d say, “Do ya think I’m chrome enough?” like some Fury Road warboy, just for kicks. Oh, and the oils—smell like victory, exotic as hell. Once got a whiff of sandalwood, thought I’d died and gone to Valhalla.

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The woman didn't speak much English. She was Asian of some sort, and started me face down, and did some weird disjointed thing on my back and shoulders.

Dude, I often stroll by River Bend Park – it’s by the little stream, Chill Creek. Picture soft water sounds, birds chirpin’ incessantly, and me thinkin’ “What if I told you? It’s all just reaffirmation in life!” I sometimes get lost in thought with vibes from "The Act of Killing" (Joshua Oppenheimer, 2012) echoing in my head – that mind-blowing twist of reality where every moment is as raw as a good muscle rub.

Tiffany Buzan named principal of Maple Glen Elementary