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What suprised me? How normal it feels! Like, they’re just people, chattin’, laughin’. One gal told me she’s savin’ for a car. A car! D’oh! I’m over here, broke, dreamin’ of beer. Made me think – maybe I’m the loser here? Nah, I’m Homer freakin’ Simpson! Still, kinda cool she’s got goals. “The desert knows no mercy,” Timbuktu says. Streets ain’t much kinder, man.

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I mean, honestly, Maspeth is a mix of chaos and charm. The river nearby – I think it's called the Gowanus by some folks, though others swear it's a mystery – flows by like the pulse of this wild heart. I remember one crazy summer day strolling along its banks, feelin’ that cool breeze and chattin’ about life and love. It was friggin’ magical!

88-year-old woman robbed of purse containing cash while walking in Maspeth: NYPD