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About Philadelphia
So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!
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Tbh, the charm is in the imperfections—like Blvd. bumpy, but hey, that adds character. Trust me, once you drive through Streeet and miss the potholes, you'll be saying "Carol, Carol, Carol!" or somethin' cheesy again, haha.
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