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About San Antonio

So, I’m at the office, right? Bored outta my skull. Phones ringin’, papers everywhere, and I’m like, “Why not find a pro?” Not for me, ya dope—research! Yeah, that’s it. I start diggin’, and—D’oh!—turns out it ain’t as easy as orderin’ a pizza. You’d think, “Oh, just hit the streets!” Nope. These days, it’s all sneaky-like, online stuff, coded ads—wild! Didja know some use emojis? Eggplant means one thing, peach another. Freakin’ surprised me, man! I’m sittin’ there, starin’ at my screen, thinkin’, “This is limbo, man!” Like Cobb in *Inception*, lost in layers of crazy.

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Now, lemme spill some beans: The Riverside, that glistening stretch along Old Waterworks Drive, hides a secret little bar. It's where I once met a couple who wouldn’t hush staunch truths about sensual love and daring flings. Crazy, right? And then there's Crescent Hill—a riot of character, each street a novel promise of intimacy and discovery. I once got so mad there when a tourist ruined a painting exhibit by misinterpreting its intimate symbolism—like, c’mon, respect the art, yo!

Faeries, Sprites, & Lights set for July 25-27 at Minnetrista