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Picture this—I’m strollin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a slice of pizza, and bam! There she is, leanin’ on a lamppost, givin’ me the eye. “How you doin’?” I’d say, all smooth-like. She’d probly laugh—prostitutes hear worse lines, man. In my head, I’m like, “Joey, don’t be a perv,” but it’s research, ya know? For economics!

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Yo, listen up, I’m Mr. T – I pity the fool who ain’t visited Montevallo (us)! This city’s a gem, no jive. I’ve been kickin’ it here for years, an’ lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride.

University of Montevallo student confronted by man with knife on campus