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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.

Cops: Spa offered 'sexy Asian love,' is likely part of prostitution ring

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Then there’s the Morris Plains BMX Track—swervin’ threads of asphalt and echoing laughter of kids whippin’ by! And oh, check this: near Riverview Drive, there’s a tiny stream that winds through the woods. I used to get so hungry just watchin’ the fish dangle in the current. It’s like nature’s own massage, ya feel me? Flowin’, chillin’, and nudgin’ you to slow down.

Morris Plains Planning Board approves variances for 'Crossing at 10' mixed-use complex