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Oh, and the oils—slippery as hell, smells like heaven. One time, this chick used somethin’ that made me smell like a damn lavender field. Laughed my ass off, thinkin’, “Man, I’m a snack now!” Total *Inherent Vice* moment—“This is a sign, man!”—like the universe was prankin’ me. But damn, it felt good, real good. Hands dancin’ all over, teasin’, not too crazy but juuuust enough. You get me?

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