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About Dallas

I’m lyin’ there, mad as hell. Oil’s cold, stinks like lavender vomit. She’s yammerin’ about “energy flow.” Lady, shut it. Reminds me of Dae-su screamin’, “I’m a beast!” ‘Cause that’s me—trapped, ragin’, butt-naked under a towel. Favorite movie moment? When he eats that octopus alive. That’s sexual-massage—squirmy, weird, kinda gross. You want relief, but nah, you’re just pissed off and shiny.

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There’s the lovely, albeit sometimes piss-ugly, Merriweather Park. It’s a tiny green thing, you know, with a dodgy little fountain that mists a bit too much on a hot day. I once had a client break down there about the crushing passage of time—like, “It’s all just a perfunctory rehearsal for death, innit?”—and I had to say, “That’s life, my friend.”

Beaver Valley high school baseball notebook: New Brighton senior on verge of history