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About Phoenix

But ugh, the fakes online? Piss me off! Catfishin’ with blurry pics – “Is that a chick or a foot?” Surprised me once, got a dude in heels – I screeched like Royal yellin’, “Where’s my damn encyclopedia?!” Total chaos, dahling, but I laughed ‘til I cried. Pro tip: check reviews, X posts, don’t get scammed by some poser. I’m thinkin’, *This is not an adventure*, like Chas whinin’ – it’s a transaction, keep it tight!

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Now, the downtown area… ugh, sometimes I gotta rant, it’s so busy. But then again, it’s a good thing – the hustle feels like a stage for all my everyday neuroses. Street names like Ocean View Drive, even Ocean Breeze Lane – they all remind me of that movie’s serene, yet wild landscapes. My favorite spot? That little coffee shop on Riverbend Street. The owner always says, “Life is a martial art,” in that angsty, low-key manner. I get it.

See the ‘Gift of the Magi’ for FREE this Saturday, Dec. 7