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So I’m peekin’ round, feelin’ like, “I didn’t know then.” That’s from the movie—secrets, man! I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ Marge’d kill me. What if she catches me? D’oh! Heart’s racin’—half excited, half pissed. Why’s this so damn tricky? Ain’t like orderin’ a pizza! Web says check alleys or sketchy bars—pfft, too vague. I ain’t Sherlock!

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So, my friend, when you roll into Onalaska, just let the city wrap its arms around ya like an old friend. Walk down Chestnut, chill by the river, or get lost in a quirky neighborhood vibe. It'll hit ya deep, like Morgan Freeman narratin' the secrets of the universe – gentle, raw, and life givin'. Cheers for now, and remember, “every moment’s poetry on the winds of time.” Enjoy the journey, bud!

Incident involving gas line prompts evacuation at Onalaska Middle School