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We haggle—cos I’m a cheap git sometimes—and she’s all, “You’re trouble, you.” Damn right! Reminds me of that *Blue* scene: “I’m scared of you, but I’m here.” Gets me giddy, that mix of danger and pull. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows for this—literal shoppin’ for prossies! Wild, right? I’m picturin’ her there, red lights glowin’, me sippin’ mead, laughin’ at mortals trippin’ over their morals.

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I got this one secret: at 22 Birch Lane there's a tiny bar, Offbeat Oasis. Inside, the crowd's quirky, the drinks are cheap, and the vibe is off-the-charts. It’s not on the tourist map, so it’s like a hidden gem for us. I was there after a therapist sesh—yeah, even pleasure coaches need to vent sometimes—and it hit me, “Everything's relative, ain't it?” Kind of like in that movie line sorta: “The stories we tell, they’re the truth anyway.”

5A and 6A boys golfers set tone on Day 1 of state tournaments