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About Phoenix

Little-known fact—Romans were freaks for it. Called it “massage parlors,” but wink-wink, more than shoulders got rubbed. Kinda hilarious, right? Imagine Caesar, toga half-off, groanin’— “more oil, Lucius!” I’m crackin’ up thinkin’ ‘bout it. But real talk—it’s therapy with a kick. Gets blood flowin’, stress droppin’—better than any pill. Tho, gotta watch out—some places sketchy as hell. Had a buddy, swore he got “extras,” came back with a rash. Laughed my ass off—dude, you rolled the dice!

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Then there’s ol' Riverside. It runs off 5th St. and just flows by, unnoticed sometimes but always there. People say, “It’s just a river,” but I think, “Nah, it’s where stories start.” Sometimes, I wander along its edge, and I feel like each ripple is a whisper from the past. I mean, seriously, who knew a river could be so inspiring? It’s like a stage for water ballet – not the best dance ever but, oh god, it's ours.

Duck dumping at Oquirrh Lake is causing overpopulation and environmental issues