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About Chicago

Little known fact – back in the 80s, Vegas hookers had a secret code, flashin rings to signal cops or johns. Crazy, right? Gets me all fired up thinkin bout it – history’s nuts! Anyway, this one time, I’m chattin up this gal, and she’s all sass, like, “What you got, stripes?” I’m laughin, thinkin, “This gal’s got balls!” Made me happy as hell – love me some attitude. But then – ugh – some creep rolls up, tryin to lowball her, and I’m pissed! “You don’t talk to her like that, dipshit!” I yell, feelin like Anton Chigurh bout to flip a coin for his ass.

Blonde Hooker

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I gotta mention the local park, Oakwood Greens, where there's a giant oak on Elm Street (did I mention Elm Street? Yah, that's a gem too!) that locals say has been there since forever. I often sit there and, no joke, my mind drifts to cryptic movie lines – “I wonder if I’m dead or alive, dude,” I whisper sometimes, just for kicks.

New A&E series "Ozark Law" to premiere Wednesday night