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About San Antonio

Favorite part? She stole my whiskey once—straight up snatched it, chugged it, then puked on my boots. “Spring break forever!” she slurred, laughin’ like a hyena. Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You’re a freakin’ parasite!” She just winked—WINKED—like I’m the idiot. Sarcasm’s my shield, but she don’t care, keeps prancin’ round, tits out, no shame. Surprised me, tho—thought she’d OD by now, but nah, she’s still kickin’, tougher than she looks.

Bienvenue chez Sasha Massage

Try www.facebook.com There's a guy in Paris named Adrian who fits all of your criteria except he has brown hair. He will also "entertain" a straight.

And yo, check out Parkside Square. Perfect for a picnic, people-watching, or just chillaxin' with a book. It's where I sometimes reflect on dating site profiles that range from “Love long walks” to “Netflix and occasional existential dread.” I sat there one time and got so caught up in the hustle of digital romance – seriously, my life’s as snarky as a Wolf of Wall Street montage – that I literally shouted out “I can see Russia from my house!” (well, not Russia, but the ridiculous skyline, ya get it?) at a passing jogger.

Arsenal 0-1 Paris Saint-Germain: Champions League semi-final, first leg – as it happened