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About Los Angeles

Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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Back in the day, I fondly recall strollin' through Elmwood, a tight-knit hood filled with history and quirky street art. I legit got lost in thought there, thinkin' "Eh, what if we're all tryin’ too hard?" Like those vibes from the flick. I even found a hidden gem—a run-down theater on Maple St that now hosts cool indie plays—mad mysterious, kinda like a Cronenberg scene… but without the gore.

Rhode Island FC's home opener has arrived in Pawtucket; Here's what to expect from the club