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So, legit, I’m scoping out these girls, and it’s, like, sketchy AF. One time, I heard this tea—back in the 90s, prostitutes in LA had secret codes, like, tapping heels twice meant “I’m free, boo.” How cool is that? Totally random, but I’m obsessed. I’m, like, texting my BFF, “Girl, this is insane,” and she’s all, “Kim, wyd?” I’m dying laughing, ‘cause, like, who even does this?

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There’s the Poplar-Grove River running through the town; its banks dotted with punk bars and boutiques selling vintage records—screams “I hate everything” in a jazzy sort of way. I could go on, but frankly, I’m tired. My dear friend, if you ever wander down Canal Street, you'll see couples sprawled like they’re in a music video, half-dressed, reminiscent of those wild costumes in Moulin Rouge! (baz luhrmann, y’know). “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” but here it’s more like “Just get over it already!”

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