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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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And the parks? Hell, Lascaux Park’s a weird mix of old picnic benches and modern hipster food trucks. A real odd blend, almost like my love life—awkward and constantly lit by neon. I guess it’s all part of the charm. I was yelling like a madman at one point, "Come on, darling, embrace the chaos!!" Remember that line from Moulin Rouge!? Yeah, that's the vibe here. Bc life's too short to pretend.

Poplar Grove men charged after Boone Co. Sheriff’s Office recovers homemade explosives