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About San Antonio

Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, all authoritative-like, “You shall not pass!” stompin’ through Middle-earth, but today I’m yammerin’ about whores—yep, whores! Not some fancy-pants riddle, just real talk. So, picture this: a whore, right? Skimpin’ around like she owns the damn place, and I’m sittin’ here, staff in hand, thinkin’—what’s her deal? Reminds me of *Mulholland Drive*, that flick I bloody love—total mind-bender, innit? Like, “What’s real, Betty?”—that’s what I’d ask her, this whore strutin’ by.

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And bruv, the river – Mississippi, I think? Hmm not exactly sure if it flows through here, but we got our own lil’ creek called Prairie Run. It’s wavy and kinda funky. At noon, locals kick it by the creek, chatting and feeding ducks. I had one epic massage day right near those leanin’ birch trees. Felt so surreal! Like, “You get a car! You get a car!” – that Oprah magic, man.

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