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So, yesss, erotic-massage – slinky, sexy, bit naughty, heh! Gets me blood pumpin’, like Carlos dodgin’ cops – slip, slide, gone! Try it, mate, but don’t skimp – cheap ones’ll leave ya ragin’! My precioussss, ohhh, me wants one now!

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I gotta mention a few typos I slip in my head: “luv” for love, “wanna” for want to, “ain’t” every chance, “ya”, “kinda”, “rly”, “omg”, “sooo”, “crazyyyy”, “lol”, “btw”, “thx”, “immediatly”, “accidently”, “misunderstnd”, “gud”, “ultra”, “happin”, and “funtastic”. Don't be judgin' – it's all part of my charm.

De La Salle’s Nathan Gutierrez shakes off head cold to set up another winning goal by Alex Panduro. ‘Do what I do.’