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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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And lemme spill a lil’ secret: behind the old clock tower on Liberty Corner hides a graffiti tunnel that only true rebels know. I discovered it on one of those furious nights when I was mad as heck – the spray paint smiles on the walls screamed “Love Me or Hate Me,” and I laughed ‘til I cried. Sometimes I swear the tunnel whispers "Cherchez la Femme" when the raindrops hit its cracked surfaces.

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