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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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Oh, and I did some typos lately, might be from all the cashin’ in on life, LOL. bruh, seriously—smetimes, words just jumble up: wrror, asoon, derp, thnks, stil, halp, mispeld, nw, awsm, lol, orr, truely, btw. I counted 13 already.

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