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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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OMG, San-Diego (us) is like, wow! Picture this: sun, sand, and vibes that just hit deep. I mean, you get a car! Now, lemme tell ya, my spa is tucked away near Fifth Ave in Downtown – yeah, right near the Embarcadero. You know that sweet spot where you catch a breeze, relax, and just let all that city buzz slip away? That’s my haven.

Veterans begin cross-country relay from San Diego