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About Myself
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So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!
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There's South Towne Center for your retail therapy and, let me tell ya, the people-watching here could be a sex therapist's diary. Seriously, every odd couple and flirty duo gets me thinking, “Is this a modern love story or just another epic fail in human intimacy?” And yeah, that's just another day in Sandy, where humor meets hormone heat.
Sandy Alcantara could be Mets target if he gets put on trading block in future
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