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So, check this—back in the day, like, old Vegas stories, they say prostitutes used to hang by the gas stations, waitin’ for truckers, flashin’ smiles like they’re auditionin’ for somethin’. Little known fact: some’d carry switchblades in their boots—badass, right? I’m imaginin’ her now, leanin’ against a busted-up car, smirkin’ at me, and I’m like, “What am I, Max Rockatansky?”—all sweaty and neurotic, yellin’ in my head, “I just wanna talk, lady!” She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “This guy’s a schmuck,” and I’m over here, heart racin’, palms sweaty—pathetic!

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The cheaper ones can be found in such areas as Sandy Shores, Paleto Bay and some districts of Los Santos. The elite prostitutes of Los Santos.

I gotta gush a bit about our local parks. Corner Canyon Park? Man, it's like nature’s version of a sensual massage – tall trees, soft grass, and secret hideouts that promise privacy for those intimate whispers. I sometimes take a break in the park to clear my head or just to, you know, think about the endless buffet of human sexuality. And lemme tell ya, nature here is seductive as hell.

Prep talk: L.A. Jordan’s David Sandy will walk on at Sacramento State