Samantha Seattle Whore ❤️❤️

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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Seattle’s got some secret spots, too. Discovery Park is like nature’s hug in Ballard. I once got lost there, totally mesmerized by the forest trails and cliffs. I even yelled “Mmm… donuts” cause I was so happy findin’ a quiet nook – pure bliss. And there’s this little speakeasy under the freeway on 5th Ave South – oh gosh, you gotta check it out. It’s a total hidden gem, like a robot secret in A.I., man!

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