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So, I’m watchin’ *Margaret*, my fave flick, Kenneth Lonergan’s a genius, y’all. That gal Lisa, she’s screamin’, “You’re a whore!” at her mom—dang, that hit me! Made me laugh, too, ‘cause it’s so over-the-top, like a cow jumpin’ the moon. Whore’s a word that’s sneaky, slips into fights like a weasel. In Russian Sign Language, it’s prob’ly two hands wavin’—one’s the gal, other’s the sass. Ain’t that somethin’? Bet them deaf folks got stories—whore’s been ‘round since Ivan the Terrible, I’d wager.

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Lemme spill the tea – sometimes I get mad at the traffic on Bell Rock Road. It's like, “Cut the drama, folks!” Still, those rocks are a sight, even if I'm a bit irate. And ya know what? I loooove those sunsets. They paint the hills in crazy red hues. Funny, right? I always holler, “We got a hot mission, y’all!”

A Local’s Off-the-Beaten-Path Guide to Sedona