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Once, I saw this chick—fishnets, smokin’ a cig—thought, “She’s the one!” But nah, she was just chillin’, not sellin’. Laughed my ass off—mistook a rando for a pro! Happens, tho—streets are a damn puzzle. You gotta know the codes, the spots. Like, in Amsterdam, red lights mean go—legal as fuck, wild to see. Here? Shady alleys, whispers, cash upfront. Gets me mad, tho—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Society’s fake as hell, judgin’ but watchin’ porn on the low.

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Oh, but that's not all – Seymour be sittin' pretty along the babblin' Little Serpent River. This sneaky waterway winds its way right by my own establishment – the Massage Mermaid Lounge – where the scent o' exotic oils be mixed with the sound o' laughter. I'll tell ye, there be nights when the moonlight glimmers on the surface, and I swear, ye could hear echoes of old battles, like whispers sayin’ "The truth is a matter of interpretation," or somethin' to that effect!

Heather Seymour named interim controller for VCU