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Now, I’m thinkin’, right—maybe she’s the one. Got that dark, twisted charm, like the flick’s creepy village. I’m half expectin’ her to whip out a ribbon and tie me up—kinky, yeah? Total turn-on! Oh, but the smell—fags and cheap perfume—bit rank, innit? Still, I’m hooked, chattin’ her up, dodgin’ coppers like a proper spy. Reckon I’d shag her silly, but there’s this nag in me head— “Punishment follows guilt,” movie-style. What if she’s trouble? Bollocks, who cares—I’m Austin Powers, I live for the thrill!

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Sometimes, I get mad – like when construction noise on Ventura disrupts my zen sessions, ugh! But then, I remember that a part of the city’s soul is imperfection. “Like the film said, 'the truth is hidden in the details'” – ok, might be a bit cheesy, but it's so true.

1 dead, 2 injured in wrong-way crash on 405 Freeway in Sherman Oaks