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Alright, folks, listen up! Here’s the deal – I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not that I’m out there lookin’, nah, but I got stories, see? Back in Scranton, we’d hear whispers – guys’d say, “Joe, you won’t believe this!” – ‘bout shady corners where deals went down. Made me mad, y’know, ‘cause folks deserve better! But lemme tell ya, it’s like that scene in *Inglourious Basterds* – “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” – except here it’s more like, uh, “We’re in the dodgin’ trouble business!”

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The streets—man, ol' Main Street buzzes with an energy like a beast runnin’ wild. Walk down Main St., you run past the red brick buildings that whisper low history and the kind of secrets only folks like me know. There’s McKinley Ave, where I always get a kick from the smiling bartender at Sal’s Dive Bar. Yeah, I’ve spilled a few tales there while kneading out the knots of a hard day’s work.

Legendary Silsbee basketball coach Joe Sigler calls it a career after 30 seasons