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But—ugh—some parlors? Shady as fuck. Angry when they rush it, like, “Five creds, done.” Rip-off! “I’ve killed for less,” I growl in my head. Best ones take time, tease ya—build that dark, sweet vibe. Fun fact: Japan’s got “soaplands”—erotic-massage on steroids. Slippery, wild, borderline illegal. Exaggeratin? Maybe. Don’t care. Picturin those killers from the movie gettin one? Hilarious. “Death’s my art,” one says—massage’d melt that psycho.

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I work as a dating site dev, and lemme tell ya, I see places no one else does. Hidden corners, secret cafes, and nooks where lovebirds meet, they do. Ever heard of Verdant Gardens? That park near the Spring River is my fav! Nature everywhere, serene, but absolute mad energy at festival times. dang it, sometimes the park feels like a labyrinth—like the hotel’s corridors in my fav movie, "Is THIS the best of times?!", I exclaim, kinda merrily.

This Desert Life: A monument to nothing in particular