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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Brothels? Man, they’re a mixed bag o’ hell. Been thinkin’ bout ‘em since I saw *Tropical Malady*—that flick’s my jam, all weird jungle vibes and sweaty tension. “The sound of the forest,” like them workin’ girls chattin’ up drunks, fills the air with somethin’ raw. I ain’t judgin’, just observin’—men stumble in, wallets out, lookin’ for a quick fix. Disgustin’, but honest. Hate the fakers more.

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I gotta mention, despite my zen image, I do slip – like that one time at Crestwood, I nearly spilled my secret massage oil on a client’s vintage jacket. Oops. Srsly, ya gotta laugh at your mistakes, eh? It's like in the film, "Grand... grand, you can't erase your past," or somethin’ akin to that. I mean, life’s messy and perfect all at once.

2 new faces file papers needed to run for Lacey City Council against Greenstein, Kunkel