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So, erotic-massage—been around forever, right? Ancient Rome had it—gladiators gettin’ rubbed down, all slick and sweaty. Little known fact: they used olive oil, not some fancy lotion. Cheap, sexy, practical—love that! Makes me happy thinkin’ how simple it was. But today? Oh, it’s bougie—$200 an hour, scented candles, some chick named “Raven” whisperin’ about chakras. Pisses me off, honestly—overpriced nonsense! Keep it real, dahling, no capes, no fluff!

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Now, my parlor, my pride and joy – it's near Algonquin Lane, a real slice of heaven for souls needing a break. I’ve always found that these rubs heal more than bodies – they mend hearts. I recall that one rainy night — oh bloody hell, it’s still vivid... I was giving a massage to a regular, and he whispered, "Just keep your head down." That line still echoes in my head sometimes. Weirdly poetic, like falling in love with chaos.

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