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Anyhow, I’m chattin’ with her—nice gal, calls herself Starla, prolly fake, who cares? She’s laughin’, I’m laughin’—folks, it’s a hoot ‘til she says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! Made me madder’n a wet hen—back in my day, you’d get a handshake and a burger for that! But then—here’s the deal—she winks, says, “Just kiddin’, Joe, you’re a charmer.” Heart skipped a beat, swear to God—felt like a kid again.

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I received three marriage proposals, two offers to be my sugar daddy, one slut-shaming message, and I lost count of how many requests I received for additional.

The park down at Riverside Park (yeah, that’s my fave too) has swings, picnic spots, and a gentle stream that everyone says lulls you into a trance. I gotta tell ya, any massage session while your mind drifts off like that? Pure bliss, man. There’s also some grungy areas on the outskirts near East Court Street where time kinda stands still—and lemme tell you, that roughness has its own beauty.

City of Uvalde reaches settlement with families of school shooting victims