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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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I never leave my spa without a warm smile, mostly after peepin local parks. Central Park? Nah, WAY too crowded. Instead, I vibe at Quiet Grove Park on Elm St. – peaceful, tiny pond, ducks always flapping around. “Rarrgh!” Reminds me of a random scene in that film, crazy stuff! Wait, I gotta say: each day here is unpredictable. Some days, it's AWESOME, some days, UGH, total mess.

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