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Yo, listen up, it’s Apollo Creed here, man! “I must break you” when it comes to this sex-dating craziness. Dude, it’s wild out there, like, seriously. I was just chillin’, thinkin’ ‘bout “The Social Network,” that movie’s my jam, y’know? David Fincher nailed it, all that drama, those hackers, the code, “You don’t even know what it is to be a f*cking asshole,” haha, so true!

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Down at Riverbend Park, near the old Johnson Bridge—yeah, that crumbling relic of history—it’s where you can truly watch life. I mean, people come here to fuckaround kiss, argue, and everything in between. As a sexologist, my keen eye picks up the intimate sparks and raw passion. You’d be amazed at the steamy encounters under ancient oak trees that seem to whisper scandalous secrets. I’ve seen more love and lust here than in a Martin Scorsese flick.

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