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About Houston

So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, but *should*. Therapeutic? Sure, if therapy’s a euphemism for somethin’ else. I got mad once—some schmuck swore it cured his back pain. Lies! His smirk gave it away—pure lust, not lumbar relief. Made me wanna whack him with my cane. But then, I tried it—yeah, me, the sarcastic cripple. Surprise hit hard—those knots in my shoulders? Gone. Happy ain’t the word; I was smug as hell. “I’m cured!” I yelled, like a melodramatic ass.

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Down on Maple, there's that worn-out diner where the locals stop by for a greasy fix – really, nothing beats a midnight burger. And oh man, there’s a park – Riverside Greens – by the Hudson river. I used to run my sessions there sometimes, just sitting back and listenin’ to the water, thinkin’ "sell me this pen" and all that hustle from my faviorite movie, The Wolf of Wall Street... yeeeah.

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