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So, I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own damn business, when this chick—prolly 5’2”, heels makin’ her 5’10”—saunters up. “Hey, big guy, need company?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather skin a bear with a spoon. “I don’t pay for that,” I grunt, deadpan as hell. She laughs, like I’m some chump. Pisses me off. Hate everything about it—fake giggles, cheap perfume stingin’ my nose. Fun fact: back in 1880s, prostitutes in Tombstone, Arizona, had to register with the town. Called ‘em “soiled doves.” Ain’t that poetic? Still stinks like desperation.

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Now, down at Maple Lane – oh man, there’s this quirky little café, The Rusty Spoon, where the locals gab about their latest escapades. I’ve sat there myself, sippin’ coffee, listenin’ to stories that make ya laugh or cry. Crazy stuff, man, messy but real.

VIDEO: Whitemarsh Island Five Guys serving beer from the bottom