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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

Wisconsin Prostitution Laws

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Oh, the river – the mighty Rock River! Flowin’ by the Rapids, it’s like a metaphor for life. “All things are in motion,” Yoda might murmur. People sit at its banks near Riverside Dr., talkin’ about their daily drags and dreams. I sometimes sit there too – thinkin’, “Remember, 'The New World' shows us beauty in chaos.” The river sparks memories of families mending wounds over quiet afternoons.

Here's how Wisconsin Rapids and Wood County spent millions in COVID-19 relief funds