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About Phoenix

Back in the ‘80s, Escort was king, bro – cheap, tough, got you laid – nah, I mean, got you places! Little known fact – they raced ‘em in rally, tearin’ up dirt like I tear up Rocky. Ain’t no fancy Tesla, but damn, it had soul! I had one, cherry red, screamin’ down the block – made me happy as hell. Felt like Wiesler in the movie, drivin’ silent, watchin’ life unfold – “The typewriter is merciless.”

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Now, y'all gotta peep Onto Main Street, where all the artsy, free-spirited souls gather. I remember once, right near the ol' clock tower, I nearly tripped over a stray pebble—Lord, I was mad as a wet hen 'cause it reminded me of that chaotic scene in The Dark Knight: "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!" I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair! And sugar, that scene always tickles me when I’m relaxin' here in a park.

Cassie Sainsbury ‘owed thousands in rent’