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Hey, folks, listen up—here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout life, y’know, like an actuary crunchin’ numbers. Probabilities, risks, all that jazz. Then—bam—it hits me. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t so different! You’re dodgin’ odds, hopin’ ya don’t get burned. Like in *No Country for Old Men*, right? “You can’t stop what’s comin’,” ol’ Tommy Lee says. That’s the vibe, man.

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Hey, honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Yulee (us)! I'm a massage parlor owner here, and I been livin’ in this little slice of heaven n’ hustle for years now. Halleluyer! Ya know, this town puts a smile on my face even on the craziest days—“Life is a bitch, and then you die,” but here, we keep on smilin’ anyway!

Derrick Henry will host his annual holiday giveaway at the Yulee Walmart