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So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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Nothin’ too hectic in Alsip though. The river flowing nearby, though not the mighty Chicago River, adds a calm vibe, reminds me that sometimes slow is cool. I know, I know – you love the big city hustle, but trust me, quiet moments count too. I love strollin’ along the banks, just imagining a world where magic flows like water. “When you’re lost, you sometimes gotta find yourself!” I whisper to the breeze.

John Alsip Obituary (1937 - 2024) - Santa Fe, New Mexico, ID - Santa Fe New Mexican